the end? life?

hey people who read my blog, guess wat, i met someone today, he’s appearently the oldest HIV carrier in aus… a friend of mine ask a favour from me to help him to be his cameraman for his interview which is how i met this guy… he’s a really cool guy, have aids, n he’s 59 yrs old this yr, so aids might not kill that soon huh… so that means i can still fuck alot… lol… that not my point this time, i’m out of my sex topic, something new after all huh… ^^ just a small little thing that he remind me of, he’s that old n he have aids, he said this "i should have been dead mid 20" n he’s still standing like a normal man helping uni student out doing their project… cool ei… now what he really reminded me of was hey, death, something that use to bother me, and i’ve already solve long time ago… what i’m trying to say is, i use to see through death n able to thorw it behind me n ignore, basically mean can die any second… but now that i think of it again… hmmm… guess wat, i’m scare… wat if i die later? next morning while i’m walking to uni? get electric shocked when i off my room light? or anytime anywhere… what’s there to worry about since i’ve already solved it? it’s because i’m diff now, i use to have nothing n want nothing, but now that i have so many friends that care about me, family that i can would miss my laughter, company that i cannot give up, movies that i wanna make, n people that i love… i sort of can’t leave them n die liddat rite…. not saying that i’m gonna kill myself, i’m just thinking about d reason y u wasn’t affraid of death but now i am?

it’s because i have more n i want more, true that people say when u have more, u’ll want more, therefore u’ll never have enough… for me really not money, just enough to support my family n people that i wanna help that’s enough, friends… not too many either, there’s a chinese saying "in ur life time if u ever meet a best friend that will never betray u n understand u u can die without regret" hey i have more then 1 of that… family? haha… it’s broken apart but hey for those who know me, we r closer when we r apart rite…? ^^ wat else? lover? HAHAHA…. the whole world should know the girl i really love n almost turn me gay… i’m straight now… (just wanna make things clear) i’ve loved even it didn’t turn out well, n it still hurt, but atleast i’ve got some1 that i love whom loves me in return… my life is pretty much complete… wat else did i left out… hmm… guys believe me or not i wrote this with tears hanging in my eyes….

i’m seriourly thinking, if i have 1 more day to live, who will i wanna see… hmmm… wat i wanna to wif them or him/her… the answer is… no one, because if i see anyone he/she will feel happy, and the others will be jealous, lol… n hey if i don’t see anyone, everyone will miss me for the rest of their life, n remember me for the rest of their life, n they’ll feel sad that i’m not here anymore… haha… i’m selfish but hey, if u who ever that’s reading this don’t cry in my funeral, i’ll come haunt u lor… lol… muahaha… ^^ so make my funeral full of tears, the more tear fall from ur eyes that mean the more u’ll miss me rite… hehe… so be a part of the WET funeral… haha…. OMG can’t believe i’m saying this, Kenny wat’s new from u… it’s all about S_x lol… well it’s me after all….

oh anyway guys seriously if i really die, for get about me, n go on with ur dreams, don’t even u dare allowing my death helding u back towards ur dream for a second, if not i’ll haunt u down… ^^ K!!!!! or choice 2: remember me n take my death as a motive to push u to ur dream, because that’s wat i wanna see… u guys to be happy… ^^ really……

anyway i love u guys, n enjoy life….

Cheers!!!! let go drink some god water(ALC/spirit/hard liquor/wat ever it is that makes u high…. not drugs guys) hehe…. ciao… n no worries i won’t die so soon, no worries about the white gold muahaha…. ^^

sex…… ppl who really know me would understand y i put the word sex as the title… but what the hell is sex really about? sex is… hmmm… you put ur dick into a women’s virgina and humping ur hip with her’s and cum and that’s it. honestly, i’ve have lots of sex, but the question is do i really liked it, ppl might think that i’m a fucking bustard, but seriously, i’ve experienced crying right after i had sex. see, the problem here is part of me enjoy having sex, but part of me feel extremely guilty for sleeping with girls that i dun love, sex really means nothing to me now, it’s just an activity that i’ll not reject, of course not when i’m freaking drunk, but sex…. what is sex really about? combining two souls or like nokia? "connecting PEOPLE" lol… yes sex is like nokia, and it’s also like coke "ask for more" sex is something never enough, well atleast for most guys this saying work.

thinking about it, sex is something you can buy, no offense to girls, but those easy girls always go for rich guys, so does that mean if u r rich u can get chicks easily? Well see, easy girls go for rich guys, and rich guys r everywhere, and that resulting rich can get fuck easily… this theory seems wrong, but tell me if thats not true, of course not to all girls, i’m saying easy girls, well i guess they really enjoy sex alot, n they like to try new stuff, i really wonder if they get paid after sex. if they do… won’t they be KIND OF like prostitute? hmmm…. getting paid after sex… think about it…

now check the title again, it’s sex…. :-(… a sad face, i think the new generation is going a little too easy on sex, hmm… too open, or what ever that word is, i think it’s just wrong.

honestly i have not been enjoying sex for quite some time, i don’t really love them, we fuck for the sick of fucking, it’s… it’s just not right…. you might say "y not make love with a girl that you really love" HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!! i’de love to, but you know wat? i kind of can’t fall in love, there’s no girl that can really take my heart away… or is it that my heart is no more longer here? therefore no 1 can take it away, of course, if my heart is not with who the hell can take it from me? haha… imagine a life without love, i seriously want a girl that can make me fall for her, but seems like she have not come into my life yet.

poor kenny can’t fall in love anymore, haha…  it’s really not about the girl, maybe it’s me, that is restricting myself not falling in love (sub-conciously) but what the hell, fuck it man, just fuck around till i’m bored of it, and then wait for my soul mate, and i’ll live happily ever after, lol!!!!!! this sounds like a farry tall.

"Kenny G…… go fuck urself" lol….